Karma

I guess I should be writing about Sandra graduation first but I just don't have energy for it, let's just say that the party was great and Sandra is now a high school graduate, congratulations! :D

Karma is the belief that everything you do will come back to you, eg. if you do something bad bad things will happen to you and if you do something good good things will happen to you, and this also applies to different lives, given that you believe in incarnation too. You could say that the world remembers what you do and judge you for it.

Memory is something that animals have, and humans somewhat better than others, if you do something bad to an animal they are quite likely to return the favor. But what is bad? When it comes to humans we define what is bad on morals, general moral are generally the same for everybody, especially within one culture, but specific morals is highly individual, what one person think is bad another finds normal. For what we consider very bad we have devised a legal system that is supposedly objective morals, something that several people have agreed on what is very bad, graded how bad it is and decided on how to punish people who does it.

Considering how subjective morals actually is I find it rather strange to think of the world as something with a memory and a moral standard to judge your every action, it seems to me this is also something that has been devised by humans to control other humans, to make sure that even humans who will not survive won't do "bad" things, bad according to the humans who devised it that is.

I lived a pretty good life in Chengdu until now, I might have done some bad things according to some people but I think in general I didn't go bad, and according to my own morals I was only a little bad, some times. Then I came back home, I would say I had to leave early due to bad luck but actually that wasn't so bad since I got to join both dad's birthday and Sandra's graduation, what is bad to me now is that I can't seem to find a job and I bothered by a new debt from CSN. So is this bad Karma? I would say not, CSN after my is actually my own fault, I was not a diligent student and the last semester I was studying before I went to China I didn't sign up for courses to take some re-exams but I only took one, to CSN this means that I didn't want to study and now they want me to pay back, apparently not only humans have memories and morals but governmental institutions has as well, and this would actually have hit me whatever I came back or not, same with my very annoying student loan debt.

Anyway, if I can't resolve this in a good way I think the prospects of me going to Hong Kong and work there next semester seem rather bad.