belittling

For some reason there are a lot of people, I should say some Chinese girls, that seems to think that I can't take care of myself. There are other things that make me feel that they are in a very extreme way underestimating me. I know that my friends only do what they think is best for me but I know that my friends only do what they think is best for me but I often feel like I'm treated like a 10 year old boy out on his own for the first time without mommy.

My first example is about my comfort levels; Wenying and Linna, especially Wenying, has seemed to be very worried about how I would feel staying in their apartment, the way she has been talking about it it has sounded like the worst little dump you could ever find. This is far from the truth; they have a quite big place; I'd say about 100-120sqm, two rather big bedrooms, a huge living room, a decent kitchen and a sizable bathroom with bathtub, western toilet and washing machine, plus a nicely sized balcony that they only use for hanging laundry. It's well furnished and clean, a bit messy though but what to do when you work 50-60 hours a week, which they both seem to be doing. My point is still that this place is probably nicer than mine and Kei's place in Sparta, even though we had some commodities like heating and insulation that every place under the 40th northern latitude in China seems to be lacking (basically anything South of Beijing). Linna explained this with that they had to make me have low expectation to give me a happy surprise.

The second thing is the over worrying, I have a mom to worry about me and she worries enough for everyone; so it annoys me pretty much when a friend I meet starts complaining about my sleeping and eating habits and tries to instruct me on how to live my life, I know that it is a lot healthier to eat regularly at fixed times, say breakfast 8am, lunch at noon and dinner at 6pm (sounds like I would go hungry for a few hours in the afternoon but that's something we get used to, isn't it?), and sleep at regular fixed times, from 11pm to 7am, or something like that. There is more to it though and this is a bit more abstract; it is a kind of feeling when you are with someone that they don't seem to think that you can't take care of yourself on your own, and since your mom is about 8000km away they want to take the role as your part time mom. For a Swedish guy (or girl for that matter) I haven't lived on my own for very long, I moved out from my parents' home when I was 23, still that is 5 years and before that I pretty much took care of myself since I went to high school and had to take responsibility for myself and what I did (it is not entirely true but at least it begins there and we gradually get more responsibility), this is excepting some elementary things like cooking, cleaning and doing laundry which are things that are picked up when needed.

Anyhow, my point is that I wouldn't go on my own to the other side of the world if I couldn't take care of myself in most expected and unexpected situation. This is not to say that I don't need help sometimes and admittedly it is sometimes only to make life a bit simpler but this is not the same thing as wanting constant help and worry about everything. I just want to say that if you want to treat someone as a child it is better if you either get a child to treat as such or make your own baby and let it grow into the child you need. I appreciate the thought behind it though.