What am I doing here anyway? Is there any reason at all? Every single time I think about it I just feel that something is off, something is not right. So what is it? Am I in the wrong place? I usually think that leaving will do the difference, I wanna go to somewhere where I can feel happy, but is there such a place.
Self destructive and self inflicting pain, never physically but none the less real. Push away whoever tries to help. Jump into the abyss of nothing just to make sure that the one who actually cares gets hurt from helping you. (The one time I needed comfort there was actually someone there to give it to me, but instead of accepting it I pushed her away. Not only did I push her away but I intentionally hurt her. And the only reason for it was that I was feeling bad and wanted to feel worse.) Feelings of loneliness and abandoned by nothing and everything.
I guess it will be Vietnam after all, it seems quite fun.
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1 comment:
LOL
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